Conrad's Hair Design
by Tetra26
Summary: After admiring Murata's new hairstyle, Yuuri decides to get a haircut. He goes to the salon where Murata went, and faces their unusual staff and way of doing things. AU, Oneshot, No Pairing


Conrad's Hair Design

by Tetra26 / Batty Gal

* * *

Summary: After admiring Murata's new hairstyle, Yuuri decides to get a haircut. He goes to the salon where Murata went, and faces their unusual staff and way of doing things. AU, Oneshot, No Pairing

* * *

Yuuri stared at his best friend Murata's head, stunned by the awesomeness that was his new haircut and color.

"So, do you like it?" Murata asked, grinning widely.

"Yes! I do like it! It's like you are a completely different person!" Yuuri said, truthfully.

And it was.

He had passed by Murata, not even noticing who he was. He hadn't even given him a second glance, mistaking him for one of the blond boys that he often saw around where they were working for their break. They had only been in this small European town for a week, and already he wanted to go home. He was still annoyed at how his parents essentially demanded he was to come here and spend his two-month Summer break working for his brother's Godfather, Bob. He was glad that Murata was able to come along and somewhat ease his loneliness.

"I got it done at this shop on the other side of town called 'Conrad's Hair Design'. I had heard good things about it, so I went to try it. I only went in for a haircut, but after seeing this hot blondie working in there I decided to get a coloring as well."

"I see. It looks good on you, though!"

"You should go! I'll bet they would hook you up as well. Their methods are rather unconventional, but it works for them."

"This isn't some ladies hair salon is it?"

"It's for women and men, and both work there as well. I wasn't the only guy in there, and there were a good amount of ladies. I see why, considering how attractive the male stylists are."

"It isn't going to cost me a lot of money, is it? I don't want to go into my savings too much..."

"Eh... it depends on what you get done. But, think of it as a makeover of sorts. I've had people's heads turning my way since I walked out of the salon. I know, when we get back to Japan, I'm going to have girls all over me," he said, and slowly ran his hand through his hair.

Yuuri rolled his eyes at Murata's antics. "I don't care about any of that. I might go after all, however," he said, gently pulling at the hair that fell into his eyes. "I do need a haircut."

"Do you want me to make an appointment for you? If I recommend you, I get half-price the next time I go!"

Yuuri gave him a sideways look. "Is that why you've been trying to sell me on going there?"

Murata smiled. "Possibly."

* * *

When Yuuri walked in, he took in the homey atmosphere and was instantly relaxed. He looked around at the others customers that were lounging in the waiting section, reading magazines and chatting with each other.

He walked over to the desk, and rang the bell that let the stylist know someone at the front needed to be waited on. After a few seconds, the door opened, and out walked a blond boy about his age.

The newcomer, who Yuuri assumed was an assistant or something, sized him up.

"Do you have an appointment? We don't take walk-ins on Thursday," he said.

"Yes, my friend made an appointment for me. I'm Yuuri."

The other man snorted, and flipped open the appointment book in front of him. Yuuri watched as he ran his finger down the page, stopping at his name.

"I see. You're friends with _that one_ that came in last week."

Yuuri wondered why he stressed the words 'that one', but didn't bother to ask.

"Alright. Have a seat, someone will be with you shortly," the young man huffed, and turned to walk in the door that led to the work area.

Yuuri sighed, and flopped into an empty – and quite comfortable – chair. He thought that the boy could have been a little more polite considering that he was a customer, but he had learned that living in Japan had spoiled him when it came to politeness anyhow. Everyone else, everywhere else, just seemed rude to him in comparison.

He entertained himself by flipping through a pamphlet in a language that he couldn't read, patiently awaiting his "metamorphosis into hotness", as Murata called it.

* * *

About fifteen minutes after he sat down, the door to the reception area opened once more and he and the three others in the reception area were called to the back.

Yuuri got up and walked towards that area, standing to the side once he reached the door to let the three others enter first. He didn't miss it when the blond boy rolled his eyes after he blushed when a blonde girl his age thanked him.

Walking to the back was like walking in a completely different atmosphere. While the front was relaxing and decked out like someone's den at home, the back was rustling with chatter and movement as the stylists were transforming their customers into completely different people.

He watched as a man with long lavender hair sauntered up to the group of new people.

"Elizabeth, darling! You've come back to me!" he exclaimed, and hugged the girl that had thanked him a few seconds prior.

"Of course I did, Günter! You are my favorite! Though, when Wolfram here becomes a full stylist, you might have some competition," she said, looking dreamily at the blond boy that had signed him in.

So Wolfram was the standoffish boy's name? Yuuri smirked as it was his turn to blush, and when he caught him doing so, Wolfram glared at him.

"What are you looking at?" he growled.

"Wolfram! That is no way to talk to a customer! I'm appalled! I'm so sorry for that, Your Majesty," the man that he now knew to be Günter said.

"Your Majesty?" Yuuri questioned.

Wolfram rolled his eyes again. "Never mind him. He has this thing where he thinks that the customers should be treated like royalty, so he refers to them as such. He even gave himself and the rest of the staff titles."

"Yes I did! For example, Wolfram is Little Lord Brat," Günter muttered.

Yuuri wanted to laugh, but decided not to after Wolfram gave him a glare that dared him to. He had a feeling that getting too far on his bad side would be utter Hell for him.

"Anyway, he has everyone else doing this royalty nonsense except me – so while you might get used to it and like it, don't expect me to call you by some dumb title," Wolfram grumbled.

"Anyhow, welcome here! Since this is your first time, let me introduce you to everyone. I am Lord Günter. Over there at the first chair is Lord Gwendal," Günter said.

Yuuri watched as the other man looked up at him, grunted, and went back to trimming someone's hair. He briefly wondered if he and Wolfram were related considering they had about the same level of unsociableness.

Günter pointed to the redheaded stylist beside Gwendal. "And that's Lady Anissina," he said. "She's our best hair colorist."

"Hello, Your Majesty," she said, playing along with Günter's game.

Only two people had called him that, and Yuuri was already uncomfortable with it. He was beginning to wish he had questioned Murata further when he claimed that the shop was rather unconventional.

He pointed to another rather muscular redheaded woman that had on an abundance of makeup. "And that's Yozak, the royal jester," he said, gaining a laugh from several customers. "Yozak is a manicurist."

Yuuri thought Yozak was a weird name for a woman, but smiled and waved at her anyway.

"Welcome, Your Majesty," Yozak said, and Yuuri realized that Yozak wasn't a woman at all. He wondered if things would get any weirder.

"You've already been exposed to Lord Wolfram, or Little Lord Brat as some of us call him," Günter said. "He's a trainee. He does shampoos, conditionings and other minor tasks like registrations and sweeping. Back there at the first shampoo bowl is my daughter, Lady Gisela. She's a trainee as well."

Yuuri looked at the green-haired girl at the back, and looked back at Günter. He wondered how in the world was it that she was his daughter when he looked so young – but with all of the weird stuff thus far, he figured he would have to quickly become accepting of things to keep his sanity around here.

"The owner, Lord Conrad, is in the back talking with his mother. His real name is Conrart, but everyone calls him Conrad thanks to Wolfram. He used to call him that due to not being able to say his proper name when he was little. Anyhow, he'll be out shortly. In the meanwhile, Wolfram, what was he here for?" Günter questioned.

"A haircut, though he needs a lot more than that," Wolfram grumbled.

Yuuri wondered if he was going to be unpleasant towards him for the entire time.

Günter looked at him. "Hmm... are you sure that's it?" he asked.

"That's all I need," he said, rather unsurely.

His hesitation was picked up on immediately by Günter. "Don't be scared, we won't let you walk out of here with something that doesn't look good on you. Aside from a shampoo and cut, why not a coloring? I think some blue streaks in the front would be stunning on you!"

"Blue streaks? Really, Günter? That type of style is far too wild for him!" Wolfram said, and Yuuri was grateful. "He's too wimpy to wear such a thing!"

Yuuri's gratefulness immediately flew out of the window. "Hey, don't call me that!" he said, before he could stop himself.

"Yes, don't call His Majesty that!" Günter said, horrified. "Need I remind you of your manners?"

"Oh please, I'm simply stating the truth. Blue-streaked hair is a style I associate with more edgy people. He isn't edgy at all, he's far too conservative for it. In other words, wimpy," Wolfram sniffed.

Yuuri wanted nothing more than to slap him at that point, but simply sighed. He was going to have a long afternoon with him, he could tell.

"I think he should grow it out, he would look handsome with longer hair," Yozak said. "Perhaps some extensions, with a slight body wave to them?"

Yuuri was horrified by the idea of wearing hair extensions.

"While I agree he would look less wimpy with longer hair, extensions are a pain to take care of. I doubt he wants to deal with that," Wolfram said, making Yuuri want to praise and curse him at the same time.

"He would look good with brown hair. Perhaps a chestnut brown all-over?" Anissina said.

Yuuri thought her suggestion was decent, but there was no way he was going brown – not with all the brown-haired pretty boys at his school. He did not want all the attention of the girls that they got.

"Brown hair would be too boring on him," Wolfram said. "He may as well keep it black."

"Then dye it brown and cut it into a Mohawk style. That's not boring," Anissina said, and Yuuri wondered just how her brain worked.

"Once again, he's too wimpy for that extreme style," Wolfram said.

"What about a Perm? He would look good with curly hair," Gwendal said.

"Are you kidding me? He would look like an absolute fool," Wolfram said, rolling his eyes. Yuuri mentally agreed with him.

"What about a bald head? It's the hot style around here for men!" Gisela said.

Yuuri briefly imagined himself walking around with a bald shiny head, with people shrinking away due to being blinded by the sunlight reflecting off of it. He decided that he wouldn't like that style, either. He began to gauge the distance between himself and the door, ready to bolt if one of them tried to give him one of those crazy styles they were discussing.

"The only reason why the bald head is popular around here is because the men around here are losing their hair."

"Then what is your suggestion, Wolfram? You keep criticizing and complaining about what we come up with, but not offering any other input. What would you do?" Günter asked.

"I'd just give him the haircut he came here for just to get him out of my face, that's what I'd do," Wolfram said, simply.

Yuuri was beginning to think that perhaps Wolfram, while annoying, was possibly the most reasonable person in the room.

The door to the back opened, and out walked a tall, brown-haired man and a woman that Yuuri was a hundred percent certain was related to Wolfram.

"Ah, and here comes the owner, Lord Conrad, and his mother, Lady Cheri!" Günter exclaimed.

"Welcome to my shop, Your Majesty," Conrad said, giving him a gentle smile.

"Call me Yuuri!" he blurted out. He was beyond uncomfortable with the "Your Majesty" stuff at that point.

"Very well, Yuuri. What are you getting today?" Conrad asked.

"Just a haircut," Yuuri said, hoping that he would be as reasonable as Wolfram was – at least when it came to his hair.

"Are you sure that's all? Some color would look nice on you. Perhaps some striking golden highlights throughout?" Conrad asked.

"It would be cute on you! In fact, why not go completely blond like me?" Cheri asked, and Yuuri figured that this was the "hot blondie" that Murata had been referring to.

"I don't think I want to go blond," he said. "I think just a haircut will do."

"Are you sure, Your Maj... Yuuri?" Conrad asked. "Just a small change might make all the difference. If golden is too light for you, what about a brown?"

The insistence that he change _something_ about his hair color finally wore him down, and he found himself relenting on his demand for just a haircut. "Fine, brown highlights, but I want them about your hair color, maybe a little darker," he said to Conrad.

"Very well," Conrad said, and smiled at him.

"That's so cute! Everyone wants hair like my boys! Yesterday, we got a customer who wants to start growing his as long as my oldest boy, Gwendal," Cheri said.

"Mother, I'm not a boy anymore," Gwendal grumbled.

Yuuri looked at Gwendal, Conrad and Cheri and wondered just how she was old enough to have sons that old when she looked as if she was in their age range.

"And last week, another boy even went blond thanks to my baby boy here!" she said, pulling a protesting Wolfram into her arms and hugging him to her breasts.

So Wolfram was hers as well? Yuuri was failing profusely at solving the math and science involved in all of this.

"Yes, your friend liked Wolfram's hair so much he dyed his the same," Günter said.

It was then that Yuuri realized with horror that it was Wolfram, and not Cheri, who was the "hot blondie" Murata had referred to. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the room he was temporarily staying in and lay down, perhaps forever.

"I liked Daikenja very much! He was so much fun!" Yozak said.

Yuuri groaned. Murata had convinced these people to call him by that weird alias he gave himself years ago, when they were still small children.

"That guy got on my nerves. I had to tell him several times that my name is not Shinou. Who the Hell is Shinou anyhow?"

Yuuri was starting to get a headache. Not only did Murata get them to start calling him by that silly nickname, he had also started calling Wolfram "Shinou", the name of his old imaginary friend. He wondered how Wolfram would react if he ever knew that.

If one of them called him "Maou", he was going to walk out. He was amused when he realized why the "Your Majesty" thing was bothering him so much. He absolutely hated that moniker Murata gave him years ago, especially since the kids at school picked up on it and called him that to this day.

He briefly thought about ways to convince Murata that he belonged in this crazy shop with these crazy people, and that he shouldn't bother going back to Japan.

"Anyway, let's get you started," Conrad said. "Anissina will do your coloring, and I will do your cut. Wolfram, shampoo him!"

* * *

Wolfram's fingers were like magic, and they felt so good on Yuuri's scalp that he briefly considered proposing to him. He imagined taking Wolfram home to his parents and trying to explain why he wanted to marry him, and couldn't prevent himself from chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Wolfram murmured, as he was lathering him up.

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Yuuri said, and blushed. He couldn't think of a way to tell Wolfram what he was thinking about that wouldn't end with being scalded by scorching hot water.

He closed his eyes as those fingers continued to work their magic.

"So, your friend says you're both down here to work. Why so far away from home?" Wolfram asked.

Yuuri was surprised by Wolfram attempting to make small talk with him, but responded anyhow. "My parents think it's a good idea. They think it builds character."

"You couldn't build character back home?"

"That's exactly what I asked them. Apparently, to them, I can't."

"Parents."

"Indeed."

Yuuri was relieved that Wolfram's standoffish manner towards him seemed to ease a little. For the rest of the shampooing session, they chatted about various things.

By the time he had sat down in Anissina's chair, he had even managed to get Wolfram to smile at him. He was slightly disturbed that he understood why Murata had referred to him in the way he did, but then again, practically everyone in the shop was astoundingly beautiful to him.

"One of these days, I want you to go bolder with your coloring," Anissina said, as she did her work on his hair. "Never be afraid to experiment!" she exclaimed, and winked at him in the mirror he was fearfully watching her every move in.

When he saw how happy she looked by the suggestion, he couldn't help but smile at her. "Maybe. One day."

After he was rinsed (this time by Gisela, who he learned was becoming a stylist so that she could pay her way through medical school), he sat, patiently awaiting the haircut. Though things had started off rocky at the shop, he had, in the span of an hour, come to truly like the people surrounding him. Even their quirky behavior was starting to charm him.

"Lord Conrad will be with you in a few," Günter said. "He's preparing for the show."

"Show?" Yuuri asked, wondering what he meant by that.

"Yes, the show. What this shop is famous for! Didn't your friend tell you about it?" Günter asked.

"No, he didn't tell me anything about a show," Yuuri said, confused.

"Well, never mind. I guess he wanted it to be a surprise! Don't worry, you'll enjoy it. Lord Conrad is excellent at what he does!"

Yuuri just nodded. He figured this was yet another one of those different methods of theirs, and relaxed in his chair.

After a couple of minutes, the door that Conrad had come out of earlier opened, and Yuuri's jaw dropped open when he emerged.

The man was carrying two swords, and was walking in his direction with them.

"Ho.. hold on! What's going on here?" Yuuri asked, ready to dash out of the chair at any moment. "What are those swords for?"

"It's for the show! Lord Conrad is going to give you a wonderful haircut with those swords!" Günter said, excitedly.

"What do you mean he's going to cut my hair with those swords?" Yuuri shouted. "Get some scissors!"

"If you're worried about injuries, don't. I've never injured a customer," Conrad said.

"Is this even legal? Surely there are some cosmetology laws against this!" Yuuri said.

"Not in this town."

"Well it should be! You are not seriously intending to cut my hair with those swords, are you?"

"Don't be such a wimp! My brother rarely does this for anyone anymore since his arm injury," Wolfram said. "You're lucky he chose to do it for you. People used to pay top dollar for this, and you're getting it for free. Quit complaining."

"And that's supposed to reassure me?"

"Yes, it is!"

Yuuri stared at the people in front of him. This had to be a joke. An elaborate joke. Murata was responsible for this, some how, some way. He looked over to the other customers, who seemed excited by the swords. He swallowed hard.

"Listen. I like my head. I've had it all my life. I don't want to lose it now. We've been through a lot together!"

"If it bothers you so badly, I guess I could use scissors," Conrad said.

Yuuri was stunned by how disappointed he seemed at the prospect of using the tool he was _supposed_ to use to cut his hair.

"Listen, Yuuri," Wolfram said. "My brother is not just a stylist, but a top notch swordsman as well. Even with his injury, he's better than most people out there. He's not going to injure you, on my honor," Wolfram said seriously, placing his hand over his heart.

"You can trust me, Yuuri," Conrad said.

Yuuri looked back and forth between the two. It wasn't as if he didn't believe them, it was just the idea that he was going to get a haircut with a pair of swords that he just couldn't get over. But the gentleness and patience in brown eyes, and the passion and support in green ones, won him over in the end.

"Alright. We'll do the swords thing."

Every last smile in the room blinded him.

"You'll love it, trust me! Plus, I'll hold your hand in case you get scared, Your Majesty!" Günter cried out, happily.

"Unnecessary!"

* * *

Thirty minutes later, after twitching and shaking and imagining a trip to the Emergency Room, Yuuri stared at himself in the mirror.

"So, do you like it?" Conrad asked.

"Yes, I do," Yuuri said, amazed. He truly did. He had thought Murata looked like a completely different person, but he barely recognized himself as well.

He loved the cut, and admired the various lengths of hair on his head. The coloring was also excellent, and it was so natural-looking, it was like he was born with it.

"See, I told you he was good," Wolfram said. Yuuri could tell that he held some sort of admiration for his brother, if not for anyone else. "He managed to make even a wimp like you look cute."

Yuuri was beginning to hold some admiration of his own at the way Wolfram managed to insult and complement him in the same sentence. It was an art form.

"I'm glad you like it, Yuuri. It truly does look good on you," Conrad said, and the others agreed. "I hope to see you back here again, one day, before you leave."

He looked at the people surrounding him, and thought about how quickly they had all grown on him.

"You most certainly will!" he said, with a smile. And they would. Besides Murata, they were the only people that he had felt comfortable with during his stay in this country.

Even if they acted like they all belonged in an entirely different dimension.

* * *

Author's note: I went to work at my old High School last week, and passed this hair shop called "Conrad's Hair Design". The idea refused to die, so now I'm burdening y'all with it as well. I didn't specify a country, but since it's Bob you can imagine that it could be any one of them or even an imaginary one.


End file.
